Tag Archives: pregnancy test

A Year, A Lifetime

31 Oct

When I awoke on Halloween morning last year I was anxious. My period was officially one day late and that meant it was officially acceptable for me to throw on some clothes, rush to Albertsons, and ask the pharmacist for the key to locked cabinet which held expensive and frequently-shoplifted items like blood pressure monitors, diabetes supplies, and pregnancy tests.

The trip to the store was somewhat unusual. For years I had kept a regular supply of pregnancy tests under my bathroom sink. I’m not in a place where I can explore the full story with you. Every relationship has its dangerous third rail, that place where you are both so terrified to go, you whisper about it, or speak of it as That Thing That Shall Not Be Named. Expanding our family beyond the tight bond of two people was one such topic for us. And for years we had been meticulously tracking all activity surrounding my fertility in an effort to avoid pregnancy. Only couples who are trying to conceive are more aware of their ovulation window than we have been for years.

But we weren’t trying to conceive.

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