When I chose last year’s one little word, it was (as many thing’s in my life are) the perfectionist’s choice. I was still raw and wounded. I was caring for an infant who had only sat up for the first time a few weeks prior. I had no idea how different things would be when she was mobile and active, and could move without my moving her. I hadn’t been through an anniversary of the trauma. Nor could I have known what difficult it would be for anyone remain optimistic as Russians attacked Georgians, our own quagmires deepened, Ike destroyed Houston, and bail out became a new vocabulary word.
But there I was, shooting for joy, when I was in the midst of misery. I wanted an A when I was two months behind in my homework. I could have simply aimed for content. It’s not sexy, but it had the possibility for success. Joy was definitely possible, but it wasn’t really probable. I was so far from joy (so far from content, even) that my having chosen that word a year ago seems downright absurd. It was the perfectionist’s choice, after all. I wasn’t content with a good enough word, I wanted the absolute best word.
So, this year…
I’ve approached my one little word quite differently. If last year was about stasis, this year is about progress. I’m not trying to win, to reach some unseen finish line. I simply want to move beyond the place I am today toward a stronger and more fulfilling place tomorrow.
My one little word for 2009 is : Movement.
It’s the movement of my body as its wounds continue to heal. It’s the muscles getting stronger, the tendons regaining their flexibility. It’s the movement of my mind and I learn new skills and knowledge. The movement of my hands as I use them to create. It’s the movement of my career, as I return to full-time work.
It’s baby steps toward our forever home in our forever place. It’s a slow crawl through our debt on a long road to being free. It is the natural movement of my hair, as I slowly let my relaxer grow out. All of it is movement, the word that will be guiding focus for the year.
When there are decisions to be made, I will ask myself, Where does this move me? If the answer is not toward one of my goals, then the path I should take should become clear. I also want to be open to being moved. Emotionally. Spiritually. Into action. Activism. Whatever form it might take.
I am so looking forward to moving, being moved–to movement–this year. I hope to do a better job checking in and letting you know what shape the word is taking.