Realizations: A List

28 Nov
  1. The longer I stay indoors, the more I want to. I literally do not notice when a week has gone past and I have not dressed in anything more than pajamas and loungewear for a week, because I have not gone outside and therefore have not needed to get dressed. I won’t suggest that this is a good thing. But it doesn’t particularly bother me.
  2. My baby is growing and changing so quickly. I was so happy when she passed the newborn stage, and now I am starting to miss it.
  3. NaBloPoMo has been revealing for me. There is a reason I don’t make my living as a writer, even though I long believed that I would. I thought there was something in my way. Some magical, time-dissolving thing (commuting, school, working on the house) that if I could just manage to make it go away, I would be able to commit fully to a writing life. I’m coming to terms with the fact that that level of commitment isn’t in me. In spite what I may have believed in the past, I don’t believe that writing is what I meant to do with my life.
  4. On that same note, I don’t actually know if I believe I was meant to do anything with my life. It’s an uncomfortable thought for me, but having a belief that I was meant to do something has been more of a burden to me than a gift. I think I’d like to let go of that belief.
  5. Not wearing attractive clothing is making me feel less attractive.
  6. I have surpassed the age that my parents were in my earliest memories of them. By the time they were my age, they had two children in school. Ironically, like me, they had been married for ten years.
  7. I really like to have a piece of chocolate every day, but I don’t always have it around.
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