In honor of the Black Friday shopping orgy that everyone else will be participating in today, I am going to post three Wish List items.
But first, speaking of “Black Friday”….
I know that it’s called that because it’s the day that most retailers go from being in the red all year to finally turning a profit and they are therefore “in the black,” but the name makes me think that it’s some new holiday celebrating black folks that I only commemorate by hiding in my house and making many, many plated of reheated turkey and dressing. My parents, on the other hand (who were raised in Mississippi and Chicago—in fact Jesse Jackson was preacher at my mom’s church and there are pictures of him and Dr. king in my mom’s senior yearbook—lived through segregation and Jim Crow and Civil Rights marches and Black Panthers handing out leaflets on the corner, and are therefore much Blacker than I am), they celebrate by getting up at 4:30 in the morning and shopping until somewhere around noon, adding a new singing and dancing light-up Santa to their collection every year.
One year I tried to celebrate my people’s holiday—and by “my people,” I’m not only referring to my fine, black ancestors, but to my white one’s as well; I’m speaking of Americans as whole, for no day represents us better than one where we willingly participate in an orgy of shopping and debt building, immediately following a 3000 calorie feast, in the name of holy capitalism and strengthening the economy ah men. Garrett and I got up with my parents, wet to Kmart, and Walmart, and every other disturbingly crowded big box and department store, only to find that even at six in the morning, “all the god stuff” was gone. The only thing left on the shelves was stuff that would be on sale all of the following week.
Wait…and you get up at 4:30 in the morning for what reason? To come buy stuff that you could buy, oh, any time during the next week?! This stuff doesn’t compute in my mind. Neither does going to malls in the first place. Why deal with crowds, when you have the comfort of the internet and QVC at your disposal?
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming. You can find out why I am writing a Wish List here.
Item Three: LOTTA JANSDOTTER POLLINO TISSUE BOX COVER
I have this bizarre thing where I am so narcissistic in my thoughts that I assume that any problem I have is only my problem and no one else could possibly have it and therefore there is no solution invented to solve my problem. I know: therapy. Anyway, I hate tissue boxes and I hate all of the plastic, gaudy tissue box covers that you see in the bath decor sections in stores. It never occurred to me that someone made attractive tissue box covers and that I could find them, if I searched. Instead, I have always resorted to hiding the boxes in nooks and crannies, until someone has a cold, which is the only time they are allowed out in the open in all their ugly glory.
Item Four: A Pretty Diaper Bag
I have never had a purse that I was proud to carry on my shoulders. I’ve always had inexpensive bags that were mildly stylish, and very dismissable. Now that I’ve been transformed into a momma, carrying a purse is impractical whenever I have the baby with me, which is usually. Unfortunately, the diaper bag I carry most often is a hideous, cheap, and free bag that was given to us at the pediatrician’s office. While it’s completely functions, I am genuinely embarrassed to have it on my shoulders. But, there’s something in me that feels like if the bag works, I have no excuse buying something more expensive simply because it looks better. That is why this bag, or something like it, is on my Wish List.
Item Five: Fabric Wall-Mount Magazine Organizer
I know. Odd. but you see, I’m a sucker for home organization. One day I will take you through a tour of my kitchen cabinets and you will understand why I have been occasionally been referred to as being like that guy from Sleeping from the Enemy. Let me just say, the labels must be out. Always. Anyway, this wall organizer is simple, attractive, infinitely useful and something I would never buy for myself.