Today is the first day of many that I am coming up with excuses as to why I don’t want to do this. It’s just too hard to find something to write every day, I say. The truth is, it’s just too easy to do nothing.
One of the critical pieces of information I’ve learned from the Happiness Project is that I should act the way I want to feel. If I want to feel more energetic, I need to act more energetic: pace when I talk on the phone, walk more quickly, put more energy into my voice.
This sounds like magical thinking, but hard science show that the “Fake it ‘till you feel it” strategy really works.
The least productive approach is to do what I’ve been doing – dwelling on my feelings of tiredness.
I don’t know if I have it in me to “fake it until I feel it.” Right now I am generally overwhelmed by a list of ever-conflicting obligations. I am tired all the time, but not always from a lack of rest. Perhaps it’s the weight of everything I need to get done wearing me out. More than likely, it’s the fear I have of failing at anything that’s wearing me out.
November is always a tough month. There’s a lot to get done. It’s easy to view adding NaBloPoMo to my list of obligations as a mistake. But its no more of a mistake than agreeing to complete two more courses by the second week of December for my freelance work. Sure, the freelance work pays, but writing fulfills. If I haven’t learned my lesson of doing things that pay but leave me feeling empty after my four years at that e-Learning Company, when will I learn?
So, as lame as this post is, I consider it an accomplishment. I sat down. I plugged through it. I wrote something. It’s far from perfection, but it’s done. Tomorrow is another day, another chance to get inspired. Wow, that almost sounded like optimism. If I keep behaving like one, I might just turn into one.
(Cross-posted at NabloPoMo.)
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