On Thursday Lyra turned one month old. It is hard to believe that only 30 days have passed since Garrett shot this video of me having an intense, but mild, contraction. I didn’t know it was mild at the time. Nor did I understand exactly how much I should be relishing that moment, appreciating my body, preparing for any outcome.While I was pregnant there were many things I wanted to do, that I put off, believing there was always next time. There isn’t always next time. There isn’t always tomorrow or even this afternoon. If there is anything I can take away from this experience it is the knowledge of exactly how important it is to get present, fully present. Recognize those precious moments that can occur at any point in the day. And when they do, hold on to them.
Every moment we spend with those we love is precious. I want Lyra to know that I was present. That I have witnessed her growth and held onto it. Each month I plan to pick five experiences (moments, events, etc.) that I want to hold on to for Lyra. Writing them down is my way of giving back to her.
- The incredible sensation of your body slipping from inside my own and out into the world.
- The wet, grey appearance of your skin as you took your first breaths on my chest.
- The way your little hands feel when you touch my face as we lie next to each other in bed.
- The first time you successfully latched and fed from my breasts.
- The first time you made eye contact.